A new identity crisis

Well, it's been a heck of a week!

To get the bad out of the way first-I decided to try chili with organic, homegrown tomatoes on Sunday. My hubby made it without jalapenos and all the other good stuff that makes chili, well, chili so that we could see if I could handle tomatoes.  I can't.  Yesterday was rough.  I had to take a full percoset for the first time in probably weeks and that alone made my stomach hurt. My Interstitial Cystitis flared and I woke up three times overnight because my bladder hurt and I had to pee.  Throughout the day, I drank tons of water and was running back and forth to the powder room literally every 15 minuted because my bladder was killing me.  (Who would have thought that 2 1/2 bathrooms was barely enough for a two person household?)

Rewinding a bit now...my last week went really, really well.  I was able to keep all of the plans that I made and get a ton of things done.  I've been weeding the yard, doing significant amounts of cleaning/organizing, and feeling well enough that I'm finding myself with some free time. The sort-of downside to this is that I'm beginning to lose my identity from the last year and a half.  My identity was that I was a sick person looking for answers and is taking some time off. Now, my identity is someone who has answers, feels pretty well and doesn't really know what to do next.  So, I've changed my definition of myself to "Trophy wife".  :)  It seems to be a good placeholder until I get to the next phase of my life, whatever that may be.

That said, I was out with college friends Thursday, Andy took me shopping and to dinner Friday, followed by time with Nephews on the way home, a dinner and class reunion Saturday, and then a day of rest Sunday.  It was on Saturday night that I found myself explaining my last two years to many, many people that I haven't seen in awhile.  At one point, we were discussing something about the household that I haven't been able to take care of for a few years and my hubby just looked at me and said, "Your life really is magical, isn't it?"  After we all stopped laughing, I had to admit there was a lot of truth to that. While the pain, medical bills, questions, surgeries, etc were miserable, I've been blissfully ignorant to a lot of things, like  what my husband does with all the paper waste in the house and how often the litter box gets scooped.  Not to mention--I was drugged up for A LOT of the last couple of years.  When I think back, lots of things are hazy..I can't even remember entire movies that we watched!

So, I'll sign off here before I ramble anymore. There's yard work to do and jobs to apply for!
-S