The beginning

Hi, I'm Sarah. I used to blog about my craftiness, but truthfully, it was boring. My life is now consumed with chronic pain. Let me just say up front that in my opinion, chronic pain is just a "filler" diagnosis that medical professionals use when they have either given up, or are buying time to figure out the real problem. My life is now filled with appointment after appointment with various specialists to control my pain, but no one is looking for the cause at the moment. But, more on me later. Here's why I decided to blog about my struggles with chronic pain:

I was at an appointment, chatting with a medical professional about the fact that I was so grateful to finally find good medical care after years of struggling with pain. She said that sometimes, one just needs to find a doctor who will listen and ultimately help them put the pieces together. She then told me about a young patient that she saw a few years back who was having horrible, constant migraines. She was known as a difficult patient and said that no one could help her. She was in and out of a mental hospital. Doctors diagnosed her pain as psychological. She kept trying to kill herself, which would put her right back in the mental hospital, where she would still struggle with her pain. Eventually, she succeeded in a terrifying manner by getting in her car, pouring gasoline on herself, and lighting the match.

I drove home in tears, because I know that feeling of constant pain, feeling hopeless, feeling like I am doomed to live my life in pain that I am just not equipped to handle. I later told the story to my husband, crying even more than I did on the way home as the words left my tongue. His response was that this girl probably did have serious mental problems and that this is not the norm. I should feel bad about her situation, but I can't compare myself to her. Of course, he's right, but it made me think. The fact is, I do have a fantastic group of supporters, beginning with my husband, my family, especially my sister and her husband, my in-laws, and various friends, and even some people that I didn't even know that well. And...above all, I have my faith. God does not give us what we cannot handle, God helps us handle what we are given. In retrospect, I have never gone to that dark place. My faith and my support system have kept me from going there in even the toughest of times.

I'm not sharing my story to brag about the fact that I have supporters--I'm sharing my story to help people understand what I am going through and to hopefully help someone else in their own battle. My advice is this: if you know anyone in any kind of pain, or anyone dealing with any kind of illness, know that they need you, that they rely on you, that they depend on you just to get through the day. They remember just a few kind words from you--forever. For those of you suffering through your own battle, don't be too proud to share your story with those who are genuinely interested in helping. Some will have had their own similar battles and have great advice that you would have never known otherwise. Just keep focusing on the positive.

With that my dear friends, I am heading to bed, knowing that I am truly blessed, and praying that God watches over all of the fabulous people that help me through this tough time, and praying that there is an answer to this pain. Thank you to all of you just for being you.

-S