Raw, raw feelings

Hi,

Rather than retyping my raw emotions, I'm just going to copy and paste my Facebook status to this blog along with a link.

Just watched the Channel 27 investigational story on chronic pain. A year ago, I was literally trapped in bed without painkillers or any hope of returning to a normal life because of a doctor in the Mercy Health System telling me that my chronic pain is IMAGINARY, along with other doctors there telling me that there was nothing more they could do for me. Advanced Pain Management, the clinic interviewed in the story, together with doctors in the the UW-Health System, rescued me from my personal hell by doing their job, eventually leading to three diagnoses (4th one pending) to explain the pain and are treating me with a whole health plan so that I can someday lead something that resembles a normal life again. I feel so horrible knowing that so many others had to suffer through the same painful, devastating and humiliating experiences that I did before finding the standard care that we all deserve.

http://www.wkow.com/global/video/flash/popupplayer.asp?ClipID1=5241028&h1=Battling%2520Chronic%2520Pain&vt1=v&at1=News&d1=340333&LaunchPageAdTag=Homepage&activePane=info&rnd=55503652


If the video link doesn't work, here's a link to the main newspage. Search for "Debate over how to fight chronic pain" for the story and a video.

http://www.wkow.com/

If I shared all of the gory details about what this health system put me through, you'd be filled with rage, I promise. However, I'm saving those details for myself for the moment.

For now...I bid you all a good night.
-S

What a difference a year makes

It's amazing what can change in a year's time. Think back to where you were a year ago...I'm sure that something happened that you would have never imagined, good, bad or otherwise.

A year ago today, I was in my second week of what became a 2 month medical leave. If I remember correctly, this was the date that I saw my now former primary care physician, who rushed me in to my OB/GYN's office, who then rushed me onto his surgical calendar to see what the heck was wrong with me. Within a week, I would be writhing in even more pain. The surgical wounds were healing just fine (side note: my OB/GYN was wisked away on a family emergency and I had a stand-in surgeon), but the surgery left me with a whole new level of pain that I hadn't experienced before. When I finally saw my OB/GYN again another week or so later, everything seemed so hopeless...he pretty much said so. This would be the last time I would ever see him. It was a dark time in my personal history, that's for sure. Fortunately, we found one good doctor after this day that turned the world around.

Thinking back, I honestly do not remember much of this time--who knows if it was because of all of the meds, or if it was because my mind is protecting me from the memory of the pain. However, I've made major changes to my lifestyle and minor, though important improvements to my health. A year ago I couldn't get out of bed. Yesterday, I ran around my garden picking pumpkins and gourds with my sister and nephews. A year ago I couldn't even think about attempting a workout. Today, I completed a short, though advanced yoga routine that requires strength I just didn't have back then. Last year, I languished in a career that I actually liked, but couldn't handle with my health issues. Today, I'm a languishing housewife because I've never been good in that role! LOL...had to get humor in there somewhere. While I'm not where I want to be, I see the light and I can find hope and strength to continue the journey.


So today, I only focus only on the light, pain be damned.
-S